Energy Levels, Side Effects and Blessings

This week has been pretty good, overall. As I mentioned at the end of my last post, my hair had been holding strong. I was told that if it was going to fall out, it would be by about 3 weeks into my chemo cycle. That was Wednesday, and I've still got a full head of hair. Last night, a friend of ours who is about to graduate with her cosmetology license came over and cut my hair, which was beginning to look like a bush. Thanks, Sam!

At lunchtime on Wednesday, I got a phone call from my old professor, voice teacher and friend from my days at BYUH, Dr. Jim Smith. He and his wife, Linda, were planning to come up to visit Linda's sister in a nursing home here in Taylorsville that day, and they wanted to stop by to see us, as well. Jim was surprised that I was at work, but I told him I'd be home around 5:30. I invited them to join us for dinner, and he said, they wouldn't let us feed them, but instead they would feed our family. They're just like that. Always giving. So, they came Wednesday night, brought us pizza, got to know the kids a little (the kids all love them now), and we talked for quite a while. It was so good to have them here. Dr. Smith was always a lot more than just a professor to me at BYUH. I viewed him as a father figure while I was out there, over 2,500 miles away from my home in California. Noelle, the kids and I look forward to our next visit. This picture was taken on Wednesday night.

I worked every day this week, but every day I struggled with low energy. I'm finding that I get light-headed and have trouble focusing. In the past, any time I've gotten light-headed, it's been due to getting up too fast or something like that. I've always been able to "clear it" by sitting down and starting over. Now, I can't "clear it." It comes and it stays, every time I move around, or sometimes when I'm just sitting there. It's like all of the activity that typically goes on in my brain kinda gets washed out. I get this "hollow" sensation in my head and feel like there's no connection between what I'm thinking and what I'm doing. I think I finally understand how blondes feel. =0) Sorry to all my blonde friends. I couldn't resist. So, that issue has made it difficult to be as productive at work as I would like to be, but I have been able to get some things done and make some headway on some accounts I've been working on.

While the hair loss hasn't come, there are some other side effects of the chemo that have come over the past week or so. The most frustrating one is that I've begun to lose my sense of taste. Not completely, but enough that certain foods don't taste “right.” For example, acidic foods like oranges, strawberries and pineapple don't taste good, and they hurt my tongue as well. Bitter things are more bitter than ever. Unfortunately, THAT means that I don't enjoy my beloved dark chocolate any more. I don't get bitter-sweet...just bitter. Chocolate in general isn't as good. My tongue is less sensitive to spices and seasonings like onion and garlic. Gratefully, sweet things are still sweet and carbohydrates and mildly salted things still taste good. Those who know me well know how much I love good, flavorful foods, and can understand how incredibly depressing this loss of taste is to me. Some of my favorites are no longer favorites. Bummer.

Wednesday evening, the Webelos den showed up on our doorstep unexpectedly. They brought us three big boxes of food for Thanksgiving dinner, along with a gift card so we can get a turkey. I wasn't quite home when they got there, but Noelle told me that the boys were all grinning from ear to ear. The leaders told Noelle that it was the boys' idea to do this for our family. Michael just left the Webelos den a week before when he turned 11, and Noelle and I were so overwhelmed with their thoughtfulness. She said she could see in their eyes and in their smiles how good they felt to be able to do that for us. The medical bills from my two hospital stays, the chemotherapy and all my other tests haven't started coming in yet, but knowing that they soon will makes gestures like this all the more meaningful.

We continue to be blessed by the thoughtfulness of others. Just this morning, a member of our Bishopric came over with his son to shovel our driveway, walkway and sidewalk. No advance notice. No “do you need help with that?” Just a desire to serve and take matters into their own hands. Something I've become known for saying lately is, “And the hits keep coming.” There are far too many ways in which friends, neighbors and family members reach out to us in service and love to enumerate. I wonder sometimes if anyone who helps us knows just how much their kindness means. I pray every morning and night that they will be blessed for their love and service to at least the same degree that we have been blessed by it.